I pondered long and hard over what to write for my first blog. After writing almost three quarters of a page, I realised that my first blog had to be about beginnings, newness or birth. This realisation came because today, 14th May, is a milestone birthday for me.
I remember saying to someone, I want to give ‘birth’ to my blog and so I realised it would be good to talk about birth. Not the physical birth but birthing a new part of our self. A client once said about how she feared she would have to have therapy for ages and that she wondered about how ‘messed’ up she was. “Join the club, the fact is we are all the walking wounded”, I said.
It doesn’t always mean our caregivers were bad, or that our environment was toxic. It simply means we were not taught how to cope with stress as a child, so we suppressed all the discomfort. Then all the built up stress showed up as a mental or physical illness or an unsavoury behaviour or personality. It can be changed, your life and moods can be changed.
It changes the moment you have a realisation that you want to live a different way, have more peace, less conflict with people, something, anything but the ache in your heart and the chaos in your brain. It changes the moment you search the internet for a therapist, or you take out that flyer from your handbag, the one about the meditation classes; which you had shoved into your handbag or pocket. Maybe you search the internet for the word “self-growth” or someone tells you about a workshop for anger. Something, anything; that will help you get out of the discomfort you are in now. Don’t wait for it to become so painful, seek out ‘remedies’ sooner than later.
You won’t have to wait nine months for the new you. The new you that says to your spouse “enough of your verbal abuse”, or the new you that realises you are being grossly underpaid and overworked, so you look for another job or the new you that is not afraid to ask for help around the house from the husband and kids. Every tiny step adds to the growth of the ‘baby’. Always brush your teeth with your right hand? Okay, tonight, for the next 31 nights, you brush with your left hand.
Hate to eat alone and always must have company during lunch? Why not make 3 days of the working week lunch; ‘me time’. Learning to like your own company, just enjoying the food, not looking at the phone, not reading a paper or book. Just you and the smell, look and taste of the food.
The moment you decide that you have had enough of misery, conception has taken place and growth begins. You will start to give birth to many different parts of you for the rest of your life. Some of it will be painful but all of it will always be beautiful. You will be in awe of yourself and your body and soul will thank you over and over again.
Welcome to the new you and a new world! You did it! Well done!